Allow me, if I may, to read from Second Snarkalonians, chapter seven, verses one through five:
1 Then the Lord spake unto Christian, and said unto him, Thou seekest my council.
2 And Christian answered him, Lord, I know not what to do.
3 Then the Lord said, Thou art a total buttface, and shouldst commit thyself unto the care of a mental institution until thou stoppest being a danger to thyself and others.
4 And also I say unto thee, that I have placed upon this earth such volumes of knowledge as should teach thee in the ways of not being a terrible Dom. This I have done for love of you.
5 Also I say unto thee, truly, thou art a douchebag. I know not what I was thinking when I made thee.
Here endeth the lesson.
MSP- I think I need to take some sass lessons so I can try to reach this level of pure, beautiful snark.